I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
