dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
