You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
