We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
