I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
