Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
