i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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