worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
People in love make me want to vomit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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