Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I party with great urgency now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
