I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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