pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
