Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
they're like a gay fantastic four
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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