too bad you live with your parents still
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Randomize
