If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
