A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
