i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
