I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
