wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
