I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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