is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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