I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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