How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
