I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
if only i could text you this smell
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
