I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
