I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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