dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
