the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
