So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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