Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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