I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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