Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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