Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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