How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize