Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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