I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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