I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize