I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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