ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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