That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
