Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize