I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
