People in love make me want to vomit
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
