best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
