remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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