Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
