My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize