Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bring money and cleavage
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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