Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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