i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
