Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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