I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
