i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
