Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
