You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do vagina's smell?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
