I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want to have your abortion
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
