ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
