i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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