Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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