I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
