I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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