My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
