Got a toothbrush?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
