that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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