I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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