Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
