Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
